Thursday, November 20, 2008

Tales; Ruby, Jam, Gwendolyn Fig, Woodrow, and Robberbear

The characters in Tales are becoming rather aggressive. They want to take over my blog. I told them they could have every third post, but they want in all the time. And they are multiplying! There are fourteen of them now; and more are struggling to get out. It might get out of control soon, but I am resisting their importuning. They are so insistent; it is not easy. Anyway here are a few more graffiti additions from scraps of sketches unearthed from the bottom of my bag...

Ruby (dachshund)

Ruby is a daydreamer, rather quiet and shy. Although she nurses a silent wound that you will never find out about, she is in no way a tragic figure. Tango is her passion, she goes out dancing five nights a week. She is currently unemployed, but aspires to be a vegan chef. She knows how to yodel and loves Woody Allen films. She keeps a pet parakeet that she spends hours each day training to talk and perform tricks. Her roommate surreptitiously teaches it swear words, which thoroughly confuses Ruby. A willowy beauty, she has the sweetest, most generous and selfless nature of anyone you will ever meet.

Robberbear (tiny bear)

Abandoned by her dysfunctional family at a very young age, Robberbear's growth was severely stunted by a chronic lack of food. Consequently, she is quite petite for a bear (and disarmingly cute) but I would suggest that you avoid eye contact. She never sleeps because an inky bitterness seeps into her brain when she lets her guard down. Sometimes she does drift off and while sleepwalking, commits heinous acts of violence. During her waking hours she has a most pleasant demeanor and poses no threat whatsoever. The trick is to know the difference because she sleeps with her eyes open. It is best to beat a hasty retreat if you encounter her.

Jam (toast)

Jam drinks red wine (lots) and smokes Lucky Strikes (and lots) and is chronically late. A master of ikebana, he teaches at the Chinese garden. He is addicted to Moon Cakes and after classes he swipes them from the Tea House. He is generous to a fault (he won't ever let you pay him back) and has the most endearing grin on the planet. Suspicious of modern technology, he listens to music by playing records on a turntable, writes all correspondence longhand, and uses a medium format film camera for his photography. He needs glasses but refuses to wear them and thus is constantly bumping into things. Which explains all the bruises. Well, that and the drinking...

Gwendolyn Fig (white cat)

Gwendolyn Fig aspires to a career in writing and is a stickler for good grammar. She cannot abide the improper use of quotation marks or the way most people use the word 'hopefully'. Her favorite snack is a soy nut butter sandwich smeared with a mash of condiments that she mixes on a plate with a fork. She has a ferocious cowlick and, unlike most cats, rarely bathes. Academically competitive and extremely bright, she has always been at the top of her class. She spends her free time making clothes for her paper doll collection while listening to terrible rap music (the Ying Yang Twins!). You will find her in the forefront of humanitarian causes, where she serves selflessly and energetically. Her patience is legendary and beauty unsurpassed.

Woodrow (owl)

Woodrow is very observant, noticing the most subtle interactions between people. He will act with a gentle kindness to assuage hurts he perceives, even if he had nothing to do with it.
An avid hiker, he is passionate about fungi of all kinds, especially Oregon white truffles. He collects plants and has an uncanny knack for finding new species. Bright, but unschooled, he exchanges cuttings with botanists all over the world. He is a huge fan of Star Trek and, anticipating fulfilling a life long dream of attending a Trekkie convention, he practices Klingon and the Vulcan salute day and night. He regularly loses his voice for up to a week from singing screamo music with his band, the Blackfoot Attack. Somewhat lax about nutrition, he has a tendency to tremble constantly.


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