Text Messaging with Tawanda Faye

My daughter, Tawanda Faye, sends over three thousand text messages every month. Her fingers fly over her tiny cell phone keyboard so fast they blur. I finally got my own cell phone, and now texting has become our major form of communication. It's so much better than actually talking to a teenager.

I started to send her little interesting or funny facts whenever I came across something in what I was reading or listening to. One by one, her friends wanted me to text them too.

My first rule is that I have to have come across the facts 'naturally', I don't want to burden myself with having to hunt them down on line to keep up with expectations of frequency or volume. My second rule is that I have to be asked to send texts, not wanting to seem like a creepy pedophile stalker.

While this post isn't technically 'art for daily life', if you read it in the right frame of mind it could seem poetic, which is art. (I suggest large amounts of alcohol to induce this 'poetic' 'frame of mind').

Here are a few from this week:

A jellyfish is 95% water

Making the average pc requires ten times its weight in chemicals and fossil fuels

Always use lukewarm not cold water when cleaning your emeralds

Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know when chuck norris is going to kill you

Leonardo da vinci invented the scissors

When a whale dies it falls down through the ocean slowly over the course of a day
(*I stole this one from Miranda July; I don't know if its really true)

The iraq war cost $48,000 in the time it took you to read this

A male turkey is called a jake

There are 44 million bubbles in the average bottle of champagne

Chuck Norris never gets brain freeze. Slurpies know when to back off

An ostrich eye is bigger than its brain

Chuck norris’ cowboy boots are made from real cowboys

Dolphins sleep with one eye open

Chuck Norris doesn’t sleep. He waits.

sent: what should your pseudonym be for my blog be? i don't think i should use your real name.
rec'd: just use my real name
sent: what about all the stalkers my blog is bound to attract?
rec'd: it's all out there anyway, my space, facebook...
sent: Tawanda!
rec'd: no!
sent: tawanda FAYE!
rec'd: NO!
sent: yes yes its hilarious
rec'd: JUST USE MY REAL NAME
sent: what should i call eli. that goes with tawanda faye?
rec'd: stop it
sent: no seriously its so funny i cant resist
rec’d: it is funny but no
sent: how about Spot then?
sent: I am really cracking myself up now
rec’d: betsy peach
sent: but that’s not funny. Betsy peach. Cute though.
sent: Boring
sent: I am really getting attached to tawanda faye
rec’d: don’t do it. you DO NOT have my permission

hahahahahahahaha

Sometimes, I even get good ones back. I'll post some of those another time.

But, in the meantime, look at what Stiletto Heights (notice how her name seamlessly segues from my initial image?) has in her etsy shop:

She has a really entertaining blog, an etsy shop, and is in Trunkt. She has original artwork (collage), prints, supplies (like these cool keys) and even has her own coffee table book.